80% of Success is Just Showing Up!

While teaching this month a topic that continues to come up is finding motivation for ourselves. In fact the topic of how to be motivated and how to make progress has been the most dominate after-clinic/lesson discussion between myself and students. Which caused me to lick and chew on the drive home and thinking about the overlay on the horsenality/personality chart. So, here is what I have been thinking about when it comes to motivation/getting started/making progress.

Extroverts have the jump on us introverts when it comes to getting started! The chances of an action-motivated extrovert just doing ‘something’ is greater than an introverts who may feel like they have to have all the information first, then have a plan, and KNOW what’s going to happen before they even start. Well let’s face it, the chances of all of these things lining up, and an introvert feeling motivated, and in the right mood every day from the start of a project to the end is pretty slim! Particularly when we’re talking about a horsemanship journey and did I mention “the journey is lifelong”.

If you find yourself on the introverted side of the Personality model more times than not, I can relate! I relate to the feelings of not having enough information to start, or “well, I really don’t have enough time today”, or “I’ll just wait until tomorrow (and then tomorrow turns into the next day and then next week)” and pretty soon we haven’t started and it’s 2 months later. Now, for some extroverts looking in it may appear as if us introverts are procrastinating, but more than just putting something off, it is uncomfortable for us to start a ‘something’ without having ALL the information. We may be the ones who buy a new camera and before ever pushing a button we have read the entire manual, so that we can find out how everything works before we start snapping shots. On the flip side: some extroverts are likely to take the camera out of the box, push every button on it to see what it does and take at least 100 pictures before the day is over. When asked about what they learned from the manual they are liable to say “What manual, it came with directions?”

Both have their benefits and I can appreciate the advantages of both approaches. The point I am getting at is that the horse’s manual is not nearly as black and white as the camera’s manual. In fact, by comparison (particularly for adults who per Pat Parelli’s definition: Practice making simple things difficult), the horse manual becomes incomplete, unclear, ever changing and never-ending! At closer look the horse manual can seem so overwhelming that often Introverts struggle getting started or making it back to the barn after encountering a problem they haven’t read a solution for. It is such an uncomfortable feeling not knowing what to do and/or not knowing the ‘what if’s?” This uncomfortable feeling can be enough to stop some people in their tracks and hold them back from progress.

The good news is: there can be a light at the end of the tunnel, if we are willing to feel a little more uncomfortable for a little or a lot longer. As introverts we need to embrace the uncomfortable feelings of doing things without knowing all the details, if we hope to progress. The uncomfortable feeling is our brains way of trying to keep us safe (Stephanie Burns has some excellent information, to learn more on this), our brain is doing its job. Just like your horse’s prey animal instincts are doing their job when he spooks at the rustle in the bushes. Sure in principle and while sitting comfortably reading, ‘Embrace the uncomfortable’ sounds like a great idea, but in practice it may not ‘feel good’ and often looks odd as we’re trying to figure things out. However, if we are EVER going to make progress we have to just get out there and do it. Now, let me be clear, I’m not suggesting that you go out to the barn and pull off your bridle, hop on without a saddle and see how things go, what I AM suggesting is that you actually GO to the barn. To get started, a strategy that can be successful is to schedule time to be with your horse and GO. Even if you’re not ‘in the mood’ to play, go anyway. Sit with your horse or groom them or sit on the other side of the fence and watch your horse. After all you are more likely to eventually play with your horse if he is at fingers distance than if he’s 10 miles down the road or even ‘all the way’ out in the backyard. In order to make progress you must make the time with your horse a priority. It is your time to do what YOU need with your horse, even if that means sitting next to him and talking about your challenging day at work/school or standing next to him and smelling the one and only smell that is YOUR horse (it’s the same smell that our non-horsey friends think is ‘stinky’, but those of us who have a love for horses - we know it is the BEST smell in the world :-). In fact by just showing up, you are already 80% down the road of success! So, when life starts to get in the way of your horsemanship and threatens to stop your progress in its tracks, remember 80% of success is just showing up, so GO!

Tips on making horsemanship progress even in the winter!

Making the best of the winter weather and getting a chance to play with your horse can seem like a challenge at times, particularly for those of us who live anywhere that gets below freezing! If you’re someone who likes to keep feeling in your toes and appreciates a normal colored nose vs. your nose’s best impression of Rudolph, it can seem hard to get motivated to keep up with your New Year goals and go out to play with your horse! Well, I feel your pain! When it takes 10 minutes to bundle up, 10 minutes to de-bundle your horse, and by the time you’ve groomed and are ready to play you’ve lost feeling in your fingers, it can seem like a far reach to practice your refinement under 6 layers.

I have to say Quick and I have experienced the same thing. So with all the extra time sitting in front of the heater to warm up I came up with a plan to stay on track even when the weather doesn’t seem like the most willing partner. I realized that during my daily horse chores I can add in a little progress. For example, I need to bring Quick from the pasture up to the barn for grain and Parelli Essentials J, well Pat says there are only 7 games in 5 zones so why not make the walk from zone 5 (after all my one rein driving could use a little more straightness) and when we come across a puddle or mud patch I can use my body language to turn him on the way to the barn, it’s working as a great point to point to help his straightness! Then I take an extra 2 minutes and just before I grain him we play with the clippers, what a great way to set up a positive pattern – put up with the vibrating clippers and then get something you love – grain! And as you can imagine we have to go back to the pasture (good draw) so I can practice two things that could always be better backwards and sideways “The better your horse goes backwards and sideways the they do everything else”, so we play a little ‘Rockslide’ on the way back to the pasture.

I vary the routine slightly but at least this way I get some progress time in with him even on the days that are below freezing and we get a chance to stay connected during the challenging winter months. I hope this helps inspire some ideas on how you could make the best of the time with your horse even if it is limited. Stay warm ad have a progressive winter!

A Week With Kathy and Quick "Seek The Jump"

As I move forward in my jumping goals with Quick it becomes increasingly important that he seek the jump and choices to go over it. I choose to use Liberty as the savvy to focus on for this week in my jumping play sessions with Quick. At the start after looking at Quick’s Self-Assessment checklist I chose to have my week goal be jumping upright barrels at liberty, away from the round pen rail. The photo above is from Day 5 at about 15’ away while keeping my carrot stick in neutral. Below is a brief outline of our progress during the week to get here:

Day 1: For a warm-up before going to liberty, I asked Quick to jump the single barrel laying down (SBLD) from a walk at 12’, then the same at 22’ feet. Both distances he was able to ‘seek the barrel and jump with just a suggestion (phase 1). I then asked for the same at the trot. Once this was going well we moved into the round pen. I asked for him to jump 3 BLD set against the fence, and progressed to one barrel laying down against the rail.

Day 2: We warmed up with a liberty review from day 1. All went well, next we moved to 3 laying down barrels off the rail, no problem  So, on to 2 and then 1. We finished on 3 upright barrels against the rail via squeeze game.

Day 3: We started with 2 barrels against the rail and reviewed the day before. With everything going well we moved to 3 upright barrels about 3 feet off the rail. Once Quick was able to hunt this jump we finished our round pen session with a bucket of grain inside the round pen 

Day 4: We warmed up reviewing the previous days. When I moved to 3 upright barrels a few feet off the rail I played some stick to me with the barrels ‘in the way’ to be sure I was clear in my communication that the ‘jump’ was the solution to this puzzle, success with the upright barrels and stick-to-me. We finished with some grazing inside of the round pen.

Day 5: Again, we warmed up briefly reviewing the previous days. Things were going well, so I asked for a 3 upright barrels from 12’, then 15’ using squeeze game. Quick is such a great partner and loves to figure out puzzles! So, this was a fun week for us both.

A week with Kathy and Quick "Brideless, Bareback Jump"

Often people see me doing something like the picture above and think it just happens, out of thin air I could do anything I wanted. In reality even after you have a black string you still need to practice proper preparation. So, I wanted to tell you the preparation that went into this picture:

We had the opportunity to teach at The Horse First Farm a few weeks ago, on our way in to the farm I saw the honeycomb jumps (3+') and thought "wouldn't it be nice to have a picture jumping that bareback and bridless". I knew I had a week to prepare Quick (we would be heading out by the end of the week), and I set myself the goal of building Quick's confidence towards jumping the fence bareback and bridless, not on actually doing it (this way I could be sure to put my principle before my purpose). Quick is already solid Level 3 in his skills and knowledge so I knew the important thing was to have his confidence in the environment and be sure he was tuned into me as a leader. Here is an overview of how the days of prior preparation looked.

Day 1: We went to the playground on line and explored all the obstacles playing traveling circling game on a 45' line. By the end of the session he was confident being away from his herd and confident with the playground obstacles.

Day 2: Review day 1, make sure he still had confidence today - check! On to our next step: After playing some follow the rail to warm up I rode around the playground freestyle and over a few of the lower jumps, we finished on a nice relaxed 'blow out' and I allowed Quick to eat some grass in the playground.

Day 3: Started On line with a few pre ride checks. Reviewed Day 2 for confidence and relaxation - check! On to our next step: I rode over the honeycomb jumps with a saddle and snaffle until Quick was relaxed, confident and 'seeking the jump'.

Day 4: We started at Liberty to get some connection. Then reviewed Day 3 to make sure Quick was thinking over the jump - check! On to our next step: I rode over the honeycomb jumps with a bareback pad and snaffle. This step was more to make sure I found my balance bareback and that I was able to stay out of his way while jumping :-)

Day 5: Again, we started at liberty, allowed him to get some pent up energy out and finished with some great stick-to-me! Next, you guessed it we started by reviewing what we had done the day before: I rode over the honeycomb jumps with a bareback pad and snaffle freestyle (casual rein) until Quick found relaxation. Then we slipped the snaffle off, made sure we still communication (turn right, left, upward and downward transitions, and of course STOP :-), and then we jumped the honeycomb jumps bridless with just the bareback pad!

I hope this sheds some light on the fact that even after you have a black string prior and proper preparation is still necessary. Even though it may seem like Instructors just magically can do 'stuff' often it is only after many hours, days, or months of preparation. As Walter says: Do the most difficult maneuvers with your horse so that he never knows they are difficult. That is what I keep in the back of my mind as I prepare Quick for my goals.

“Be The Change That You Want To See In The World”

The above quote from Gandhi has been floating around in my head over the last few weeks. Maybe it’s because it is a GREAT quote. Maybe it’s because it puts the responsibility back on us, rather than allowing the blame to fall elsewhere. Maybe it’s because since John and I moved from Faclty at the Parelli Center to field instructors, one of the things that seems to be at the top of our students question list is “How are you finding life in the REAL world?”. It is an interesting question and one that I haven’t answered the same, yet.

If you haven’t been to the Parelli Center you may wonder about the comment “living in the REAL world”. Well, some say that while at the center it is like you are in a positive Natural HorseManShip bubble, surrounded by positive energy, happy horses and people who truly LOVE what they are doing! Some of this ‘bubble’ may be due to VERY minimal make that non-existent cell phone reception, no TV, no radio and no newspapers laying around, but I believe the biggest difference is due to the people! What is so amazing about the people at the Parelli Center? Those who are drawn to the center believe in devoting their lives to something bigger then themselves, to Never Ending Self Improvement. To making the WORLD a better place for horses and humans. These are the people who create the ‘magic Parelli bubble’. The energy that they bring to their day, the energy that they leave behind, and the fact that the center is led by the most naturally positive and progressive people I know: Pat & Linda Parelli. The combination makes for a magic energy bubble.

After spending the last 10 years at the Parelli Center is was easy to get used to the feeling of being surrounded by positive energy, being in a safe learning environment and through experience we have found that as students make the transition back to the “real world” the journey can be challenging and uncomfortable. So much so that Linda Parelli even put together a letter for students going home to help give advice on making the transition a little smoother. After all it is true that not every person you meet is going to think it’s ‘normal’ to play with a ‘conga horse’ or bounce around on an exercise ball to the rhythm of your horses canter! So at the end of every course we would talk about this transition and were available to support students after they went home. So, did John and I read the letter before leaving? We did, but more than that, more than just reading what Linda says, more than just allowing the positive energy to seep into us while at the Parelli Center. I have found that you have to live it, not just read about it and talk about it, you have to feel it, think it, be it, and act it.

If it is people who create the “magic bubble” then it is people who will carry it home with them, who will share it with other people. After all, most of us can think of a time when we didn’t know about natural HorseManShip. When our sessions with our horses were just about having a good time, and “oh by the way, why can’t my silly horse see that the puddle is only an inch deep and just walk through it!” We haven’t always been thinking positive, progressive and natural (or maybe you have, in that case - well done ), so what made the difference for you? I know for a lot of us it was putting our focus and energy towards something bigger than going out and having a good time with our horses (although that’s still fun too). It was when Pat said his mission was and still is to “Change the WORLD for horses and humans”. That is one of those sayings that sinks it at a different level every day. It is also what helps me carry my ‘magic bubble’ wherever I go. Because if I am working(playing ) towards something bigger then myself, something more important than the next door neighbor laughing at me twirling my carrot stick around in the air. Something more life changing than the show jumper thinking I’m wasting my time by sending my horse over the jump on line before I ride him over the jump. What really matters is that I know why I am doing these tasks: To make the World a better place for me, for my horse, and for you. What makes me feel good at the end of the day or end of the week is not my neighbor thinking I look ‘cool’ or the show jumper approving of me doing things the traditional way. It is looking back and knowing that I stuck to MY principles, that I lived what I believe every moment. That I woke up and walked the talk. That I was the change that I want to see in the world TODAY.

So, if you ask “How are you finding life in the ‘real world’?” my answer is “GREAT!”. There are people wherever you go and they all have something beautiful even if I can’t find it. The horsemanship journey has taught me more about myself and the people around me than I ever imagined. For that I will be eternally grateful for the system Pat and Linda have built. One of the lessons I have learned, among many is: I am in control of me and I WILL be the change that I want to see in the world. My personal challenge to all Parelli students is: Will you?